Boundaries for Empaths and Others? And would that be because you’re not already straining enough at life, struggling just to keep up?
Boundaries for Empaths? Boundaries for other people? Metaphorical boundaries for all who believe in “Healthy Boundaries“? Hey, that commonplace idea just turned up 167 MILLION hits on my Google.
Look, Blog-Buddies, do you know that ideas like this belong in the Nice Try Department? To put it politely!
Today you’ll learn more about how truly unproductive this boundary work is. Except as busywork. So let’s explore.
Instead of the boundary nonsense, every minute you spend on authentic personal growth could be a good use of your time. Don’t you agree?
BTW, if you have found a way to increase your allotted time in life beyond 24 hours a day, please COMMENT below. All of us would love to learn your secret. ;)
Famously, Robert Frost Wrote…
“Good fences make good neighbors.” Only Robert Frost didn’t believe that. That excerpt from his poem “Mending Wall” has become way famous. But don’t blame the poet.
Click on the link just provided to read the actual poem.
“Good fences make good neighbors” was thoroughly debunked in this poem by Robert Frost.
In “Mending Wall,” as you’ll see, that sentiment came from Frost’s foolish, obnoxious next-door neighbor. “Good fences make good neighbors” is opposite to the point of this poem.
Hello
Were the great poet living today, I can only imagine what he’d have to write about today’s boundary work. Geesh! As we explore here today, Blog-Buddies, you just might learn: Boundary Work for Empaths and Others is… Worse than a waste of time.
In addition, this blogpost will include a newsletter announcement. Glad to say, our related June issue of “Reading Life Deeper” will critique boundary work in style. In order to subscribe… Skip down to the heading for this month’s Newsletter Announcement.
Newsletter and blogpost are meant to complement each other, the combo helping you most of all.
In Case You’re Wondering
Why Tackle the Topic of Boundaries for Empaths… or Anyone Else?
It’s not just the notion of “healthy boundaries,”either. Do you have any idea how crazy-influential boundary work is in Collective Consciousness?
Let’s compare and contrast the popularity of the following search terms on Google.
- Boundaries for Empaths – As if this were a legitimate, helpful pursuit. Rather than a highly questionable idea! 404,000 results on Google.
- Boundaries AS AN Empath — Maybe you think that second search term isn’t terribly different from the last one. Only… 4,650,000 results on Google
- Boundaries Help Me Be Whole — Anyone can believe this. But is this true? 11,700,000 results on Google.
- Penguins Can Teach Me How to Dance — Not any random nonsense gets a ton of hits, right? Except, oops. Maybe it can. As a joke I googled this foolish idea about penguins and ta da! 23,500,000 results on Google.
- Skilled Empath Merge — Finally, something that can be truly useful for people. In the opinion of this Empath Coach, Skilled Empath Merge is the spiritual purpose of being born as an empath. Definitely, learning how to do Skilled Empath Merge is useful for empaths. Maybe even verging on miraculous. Only… hmmm, only 5,130 results on Google.
Now would be an excellent time to consider what is true. Not merely currently popular. For example:
Not Understanding What Empaths Are in the 1st Place
According to a well-meant self-help article, from her website that’s mostly about vegan cookery, kindearth.net….
Interesting? Self-proclaimed teacher of empaths, Anastasia Eden, offers up “7 Boundary Exercises for Empaths and Sensitive People”.
Among other popular cliches that score high on Google, Anastasia writes that:
Premise #1.
“Empaths are expanded and interconnected with all life.” Supposedly.
Premise #2.
Playing around with theories like “Boundaries Are Important.”
Premise #3.
Supposedly, Empaths NEED Boundaries
All together now: let’s take a look.
Faulty Premise #1 Is about What Humans on Earth Are Made Of
As If It Were More “Evolved” to Identify with Energy
Many people today think so. Even though we’re made of matter at Human Vibrational Frequencies. Rather than being discarnate spirits who live at Astral Vibrational Frequencies, i.e. “Energy.”
Just this weekend I researched the old friend of my client Gladys. Aura reading her old friend Sam from a photo, it became obvious that he had lost touch with reality.
- Had Sam moved into a cult, like Fifth Dimensional Nonsense?
- Was he playing a little multitasking game with himself? Like misusing his new Consciousness Positioning Superpower?
Content like this wasn’t labeled in Sam’s chakra databanks. Instead, I did find this process:
Sam had mostly teensy sizes for essential chakra databanks. Such as his Root Chakra Databank for Connection to Objective Reality.
As for the quality, it was — to use a technical term — kind of wacko.
Sure, among many people today, it’s considered superior to vibe people out. Or keep shifting away from objective reality.
Technically they’re positioning their consciousness at an Astral Vibrational Frequency. (This being what happens to people whenever they start noticing energy instead of human reality.) Learn a whole lot more about avoiding this problem from “Seeking Enlightenment in the Age of Awakening.”
Even Worse, What Else Is Wrong with Premise #1?
All this energy infatuation can lead to living in a way where one has pretty much lost contact with reality. Then, like Anastasia, one might define people in terms of their expanded energy.
Otherwise? Assuming that you’re interested in regular reality, humans are humans. Not energies.
Thus, to you, empaths and other human beings are HUMAN. Rather than some far out kind of energy being. Honestly!
How reliable are self-help ideas from people who perceive themselves as what??? As being “interconnected with all life”? Not reliable. Not reliable at all.
On a Practical Note, Before We Get to Premise #2…
Beauty Is in the Eyes of the Beholder. Well, So Is REALITY
Before you study with any teacher of personal development, here are three useful ways to protect yourself.
FIRST,Good skills of energetic literacy can help youdiscern who notices energies rather than human reality.
SECOND, YOU can learn those aura reading skills. For this purpose, I’d recommend taking the workshops at the link just provided.) And, to be clear, no clairvoyance is needed!
Golly, it’s so outdated, so Age of Faith, thinking that today’s aura reading involves “Seeing the Colours”: Totally untrue!
Meanwhile, No Aura Reading Required for The Third Way to Protect Yourself
THIRD, quite simply, protect yourself by asking these two questions of any “expert” whose work interests you:
- Do you believe that your personal energies are interconnected with all life?
- Are you on a path where your goal is to live that way?
Somebody who answers NO and NO is more likely to be making contact with objective reality.
Whereas those who answer YES have just disqualified themselves to be your teacher. Get it?!
If you have any questions regarding this, by all means. COMMENT below.
Faulty Premise #2 Is about Boundaries
Think “Garbage In, Garbage Out.”
Playing Irresponsibly with Ideas Like “Boundaries Are Important”
According to Anastasia, “Personal boundaries are about self-respect. It’s where you draw the line. A boundary establishes what is ‘you’ and what is ‘another’. Boundaries are simply deciding what is OK for you and what is not.”
It takes the entire June issue of our next Energy Spirituality Newsletter to properly debunk this foolishness. Meanwhile, here’s your quick preview:
What Else Is Wrong with that Premise #2?
Being based on a faulty premise, Boundary Work cannot produce good results. Much like this concept in the law, “Fruit of the poisonous tree.”
That means: Legal arguments based on inadmissable evidance carry no weight in a court of law.
Likewise, struggling to succeed at Boundary Work can certainly keep folks busy. But not bring lasting benefit. More like busywork combined with mood-making!
Learn more about mood-making from the book at the link just provided. And now, finally, bring on…
Faulty Premise #3 about Boundaries for Empaths
Supposedly, Empaths NEED Boundaries
Although Anastasia’s article is very long, I never found a clear definition from her about what an empath actually is. This is as close as she comes. (Based on what I was able to find. After a while my eyes glazed over.)
“As empaths, we feel. We are going to keep feeling too because it’s our nature.”
Wrong, according to this Empath Coach. But playing around with her original faulty premise, Anastasia continues:
“Once we begin to incorporate boundaries into our lives it frees up our energy so not only are we more available for ourselves, but we can be much more available for others. We can tap into the boundless well of compassion and love that is ever-present in the universe.”
Frees up our energy? Oooh, many of you regular readers of this blog will recognize this obvious sample of Energy Talk. IMO, Energy Talk is just the start of many likely problems; all being predictable outcomes of using Anastasia’s well-meant techniques.
Specifically, What’s Wrong with that Premise #3?
Empaths Are NOT Necessarily People Who Feel Emotions
Anastasia’s main training is her work as a cook. A cook for retreats. A vegan cook, nonetheless.
Yes, you read that right. To repeat:
Anastasia’s main training is her work as a cook. A cook for retreats. A vegan cook, none the less.
Anyway, when she makes her favorite recipes, does Anastasia Eden measure the ingredients? Hopefully, yes.
Empath coaches need precision too. How do I define what it means, being an empath? More precisely than this cook has done.
Now for Our Newsletter Announcement. Sign up for a Free Upgrade to Your Understanding.
Learn more at the June Issue of the Energy Spirituality™ Newsletter
You just might find a ton of useful information. Look forward to these articles:
- Boundary Work as a Side Trip
- What Are Boundaries? Really. What’s a Boundary?
- What to Tell Empaths You Know Who Work at “Boundaries for Empaths”?
- The Best of the Blog
For Sure, this Power-Packed Newsletter Is FREE
Only catch? Unless you sign up, you won’t find it in your inbox this coming Thursday. So, you just might wish to sign up. Here’s how.
- Simply go to my website’s Home Page. For a shortcut, just scroll up to the Energy Spirituality logo at the top of this page. Click on it.
- Scroll all the way down. And there you’ll find the signup box. Awaiting you, no special vegan cooking skills needed. ;-)
- Incidentally, what if you ever wish to unsubscribe? Hey, that’s easy too.
- Also worth knowing: If you should you change your email address, it would be great if you’d unsubscribe out the old. Then subscribe in the new.
- Of course, your confidential email address will be handled honorably. No renting. No selling. You kidding?
- Did you know that “Reading Life Deeper” has an unusually high “click-through rate”? I think it’s because this newsletter gives you original articles at the leading edge of the Age of Awakening.
- With the June issue of the Energy Spirituality newsletter, the goal is to send it to your inbox by this Thursday, June 15, 2023.
Sign up right away — that’s my advice.
And now, back to this blogpost, congratulations. Already you may have learned some thought-provoking ideas.
Besides that, I invite you to return to this blogpost after the newsletter is published on Thursday, June 15, 2023. Since this article can become your destination for comments about our latest Energy Spirituality™ Newsletter.
In Conclusion
Once you realize that The Boundary Emperor Has No Clothes, as it were? You might have a lot to say on this topic.
COMMENT away!
- By all means, share urls to infuriating articles about Boundaries for Empaths. Also, the seemingly sanctified value of Boundaries for Anyone Else.
- How about stories of people you know who work soooooooooo hard on their boundaries? Ever ask them why they think this approach helps them? Far as you can tell, does all that Boundary Work help them? Apart, that is, from keeping them busy.
- Might any of you like me to tell you a bit about the aura of Anastasia Eden? If you ask, I might be able to tell you some pretty interesting things.
Ask anything you’d like about boundary work. Just remember, The Boundary Emperor Has No Clothes.
Even though I thought I was an empath, or at least highly sensitive, none of the books on empath empowerment or Highly Sensitive People landed.
Frankly, I learned to position my consciousness in an unhelpful style that amounted to trying to be more god-like (as in “I Am”).
This kept my “stuff” firmly in place, and made me feel like I was living a double life: boldly claiming what I wasn’t to shore up my sense of self.
In contrast, The Empath Empowerment in 30 Days is much, much simpler.
How you came about this information is interesting to me, but more important, that you have used it and shared it is my great boon.
CHARLENE, what a beautiful share!
Interesting observation, how using the system of Empath Empowerment® is much, much simpler than so much being taught elsewhere for empaths. And there’s a lot of that elsewhere, given that Amazon.com now sells 10,000 books for empaths.
For some pretty shocking perspective, the two videos at this next link will put in context the stark differences between Empath Empowerment®, the system I taught in the first book for empaths in the English language, compared to the noisier voices that have come afterward.
(As always, if you like any of my YouTube videos, please give them a THUMB’S UP, or even COMMENT at my newer videos, such as “Spiritual Awakening Is Not Enlightenment“.)
You’re exactly right, CHARLENE, that “Empath Empowerment in 30 Days” is much, much simpler than other approaches to help empaths.
For many an empath, this book contains all you need to become a Skilled Empath. Just read one short chapter daily, and do up to 10 minutes of homework. That simple!
Regarding this part of your Comment #204, “How you came about this information is interesting to me”….
Here’s what happened.
1. For 16 years, I worked as a spiritual teacher, serving as an initiator for Maharishi Mahesh Yogi.
During those years, I learned though trial and error, pulled by my heart and soul I insisted on learning how to do outreach effectively as a teacher of the Transcendental Meditation® Program.
My belief is, setting precedents for the national TM organization helped me to earn the standing, gain the skills, to be given more to teach.
Here’s the short list:
* Teaching TM, Rose’s FIRST Precedent
* Teaching TM, Rose’s SECOND Precedent
* Teaching TM, Rose’s THIRD Precedent
2. During the New Age Years, briefly, I experimented with learning some skills outside TM:
From TIC (a wonderful organization back in the day, although I no longer recommend it), I learned my first systematic-and-honest skills for cocreating with God. Also I learned some skills for effective energy healing.
As a hobbyist, I studied some levels of Janet Mengen’s Healing Touch.
(Also, I got to interview her. Let’s see if I can find that article here at the blog. Yes, I could. Janet was such an inspiration.)
In addition, just for my personal use, I studied Reiki (this was before Diane Stein wrecked Reiki teaching through her unethical, bad karma book — imo — “Essential Reiki”).
I studied with John Gray, Beth Gray (an extraordinary light as a spiritual teacher), and Mary McColl Mock. Yes, levels I, II, AND IIIA.
3. In 1985 I resigned from teaching TM. By 1986 I began to teach the system of Face Reading Secrets®, writing about that in my first indie-published book. Today’s equivalent of that earlier book is… “The NEW Power of Face Reading.”
4. Also, I began offering sessions of what I’d eventually call Energy Spirituality™.
5. In 1986, I also began doing this work full time. I was using skills of the system that would later be trademarked as Aura Reading Through All Your Senses®.
6. Writing about this system of aura reading was a struggle for me. Altogether I wrote this book three times, on my typewriter. (Remember those?)
I’d write the book, then worry about being criticized for offering something so different.
Then I literally threw the first draft away.
Then I did the same with the second draft.
Despite my fear, I couldn’t let that book die. So I wrote it a third time, and this time I published it. Altogether this process took 6 1/2 years.
My oldest friend, Eda Warren, “Queen of Desktop Publishing in the Chicago Area,” created the cover design, the interior design, and typeset that book. All as a gift to me.
While my mother-in-law, Rhoda Weber, lent me the money to publish it.
7. Moving out into the world with this knowledge strengthened me more.” Aura Reading Through All Your Senses” was selected by One Spirit, a division of the Book of the Month Club.
“The NEW Power of Face Reading,” in its earlier format, was also selected by One Spirit.
Without meaning to, CHARLENE GRANT, I was founding the field of Energy Spirituality.
Also I was learning A LOT, between facilitating sessions, writing, and doing media interviews to let people know about my indie published work. (Over the years I’d give over 1,000 media interviews.) All this made me stronger.
9. Long story short, all this prepared me, CHARLENE, to cocreate Empath Empowerment.
In the summer of 1997, during three months of unforgettable bliss, I first-drafted my first book for empaths. Then I spent 3 1/ years editing that book, to make it intelligible to other human beings. (My husband Mitch Weber added editing, which was really hard to do.)
This led to my publishing books for empaths and teaching the system of Empath Empowerment.
Breakthroughs of understanding have happened over the years, and I look forward to more of them, but nothing since has been as difficult — or personally transforming — as bringing the first knowledge for empaths into the world.
Incidentally, I found it was an innovation comparable to founding the field for empath skills… when I had the opportunity to cocreate the online workshop The New Strong, Level 103. “Greater Human Clarity & Creativity”
If any of you take that, you may appreciate why I’d call it a big deal. More bringing the future into the present, as it were.
At this point, I’m like an experienced mother: having been through many pregnancies and birthings as a writer, committed to doing my reasonable best to raise every one of these children.
This year, for the first time, visionary Energy Spirituality Practitioner ISABELLA CATES has come forward with a Goodreads Volunteer Program, helping Energy Spirituality books to have a better life through the so-appreciated help of volunteers.
ISABELLA has structured this program beautifully. Some volunteers do just one hour ever, period. Others are going onto the Goodreads platform far more often. All of this is making a difference for helping more people to learn about these indie published books.
While Energy Spirituality Practitioner LEO WATTS has recently volunteered to help with Energy Spirituality Outreach Volunteering.
Potentially this will be another game changer, depending on how many people answer this call and do a something.
Wow, Rose, Thank you for so much generous commentary packed full of information for this human to spend time appreciating.
I so appreciate your standing to teach and do all of this work that is making a real, on the ground, high-stakes difference in my life and the way I position my consciousness.
Just today in art class, for example, there was an opening to pose the question “what do you think the shift was all about?”.
Mostly, there was some head-scratching and an admission “nothing much”.
One woman, I’ll call her Gladys, began asking questions out of a natural curiosity that was also spontaneous – to her boon.
“You mean it’s like this (fill in the blank (can I see it taste it smell it et. al).
No, it is much more subtle. You can now position your consciousness at Human, Astral, or Divine frequencies.
“Humph”, “Boring”.
Yet she went on to ask more questions and express more curiosity, more skepticism and some bit of grief, as in “Good Grief! (Charlie Brown).
It seemed she spoke for me a little bit, in the coming to *slowly* appreciate the Age of Awaking gifts.
Hearing about how much you endured and struggled and enjoyed bringing forth this information gives me pause.
It is so ahead of its time, in a way, and yet so very practical.
I will get some books “Seeking Enlightenment in the Age of Awakening” in the next few months to have on hand for the curious.
This book has become so important to me, Rose, as you may imagine.
Thank you also to Isabella and Leo for the opportunities that they are spear-heading.
That YouTube video you made about how Spiritual Awakening is NOT Enlightenment is helpful to review.
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Good Company all around.
Well done outreach, CHARLENE.
For even more effectiveness in the future, for you and others, this distinction could help:
You spoke about technical concepts, completely unknown concepts, such as Human Vibrational Frequencies versus Astral Vibrational Frequencies versus the Divine Vibrational Frequency.
Although that’s true, it’s more effective to start off with talking about human perspective, practical perspective.
When Gladys asked her question, what could a human-type answer have been?
The Shift created some subtle changes with big practical implications. The subtle changes involved how our consciousness works now, what Rose Rosetree calls our “Consciousness Positioning Superpower.” While the practical changes???
When we make good use of the subtle changes, we grow faster as people and we’re much more successful. Our relationships improve and we accomplish more at work, etc.
Otherwise? Most people don’t have good information about the Shift, or their new Consciousness Positioning Superpower. They’re turning to activities that MISUSE it, such as mindfulness techniques and trying to slow down.
Ironically, this has the effect of making people spaced out, distracted, less effective in life than they could be.
CHARLENE, thank you so much for making these observations, including your excellent example of reaching out about Energy Spirituality topics.
And thanks to your comments just published here today, the Energy Spirituality™ Blog will likely reach a new comment conversation milestone within a week.
Thanks for the recommendation of Karla Miller’s column.
I just read the article you linked, about sniffing out a micromanager, and I really liked it. Karla Miller is very astute!
Agreed, JANICE HOOPER.
Finding advice columnists who live down to earth, have expertise and integrity… and are excellent writers to boot? That’s a high bar, and I think that Karla Miller achieves all that and more.
I really appreciate your continued warnings, Rose, about veganism and “plant-based,” (which I consider a very silly buzzword).
Now that you mention this, it IS a very silly buzzword. So many people today are describing themselves as “plant-based” — whether in their Twitter profiles, their names on Goodreads, etc.
If I had to describe myself as based in a particular way, it sure wouldn’t be about the food that sustains me. More like I Love You, God, Based.
Thankfully, my own experiment with veganism was before the Age of Awakening, back in 2008.
It wasn’t good for me, but as far as I know, it didn’t change my Consciousness Lifestyle, like happens now.
It certainly didn’t change it to Extreme Spiritual Addiction, which I don’t believe existed then, at least not a wide scale. (Correct me if I’m wrong here, Rose.)
One thing I find a bit disconcerting is that “natural high” that you described in the aura reading of Anastasia Eden, and how that feeling can make people think it’s really good for them to eat vegan.
“I feel good, so it must be good.” or, “I feel good, so I don’t care if it’s actually good.”
That is a very sad lack of discernment.
Thank you so much for these wise comments, JANICE HOOPER. Also, you may be pleased to know that your latest Comment Conversation contributions have moved this Energy Spirituality™ Blog to a new milestone: 120,000 Comment Conversations. :)
Plus, I’m cross-posting these vegan comments over at “Aura Reading Vegans.” Very valuable comments from you, imo.
You’ve also mentioned how “Idealists of a certain kind” can become interested in veganism.
One thing I love about what you teach, Rose, is that – to me at least, and correct me if you have a different view – it’s really not much about ideals. It’s about reality.
I absolutely love, and truly find it fun, to live in reality, not ideals.
Like living with situational ethics, rather than black-and-white, as discussed in this recent blog post, which I have loved: Energy Spirituality Ethics. Be Ethically Impeccable
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Thanks for pointing all this out, JANICE HOOPER. I agree wholeheartedly.
Rose, I’ve been taking your first Online Workshop for Empaths. There you’ve taught us that even though boundary work doesn’t help empaths, it can sometimes be a bit helpful for non-empaths.
How funny that boundary work could help non-empaths. I had thought it wasn’t helpful for anyone.
Exactly. Boundary work doesn’t involve consciousness but social skills.
That’s why it can prove helpful, to some extent, when somebody is not an empath.
While Empath Empowerment® teaches us empaths how to make subtle changes to how we use our everyday consciousness. This results in turning OFF our empath gifts.
Unless an empath expert understands this, and has the very specific skills to help empath students to do this, the results will be lacking.