- Highly Sensitive Persons: Gain Clarity: Help for Emerging from Today’s Popular Victim Talk
Highly Sensitive Persons: Gain Clarity. Why on earth have so many confusing and victimey ideas about HSPs gone mainstream?
- In Part 1 of this two-part series, we explored some of these pathetic ideas.
- Today, in Part 2, we’ll aim to answer this perfectly reasonable question:
Why all the bad advice for HSPs? Why, why, why?
Answering that question just might bring us some mighty refreshing clarity.
Highly Sensitive Persons, First of All, Follow the Money
When experts start pushing unhelpful advice, what can help you to figure out the why-why-why? Blog-Buddies, just follow the money.
- Undoubtedly you’ve heard that sex sells. Equally profitable can be fear talk; likewise, justification for self-pity.
- Evidently plenty of experts with dollar signs in their eyes have figured out one more factor.
- What, 1 in 5 people are HSPs? Hey, that market is huuuuge.
Next, Guess Who Has Entered that Market?
No wonder, plenty of mental health experts have begun appealing to Highly Sensitive Persons. Especially since, in recent years, mental health professionals have been having a hard time earning a living.
To put it bluntly, psychotherapists have been losing their customers.
Unlike them, this founder of Energy Spirituality™, doesn’t lack for clients. Nor am have I wedded myself to doom-and-gloom.
- Of course, if you did all your sessions by cocreating with the Divine, your work would also include a certain amount of joy.
- In addition, how about the various skills and systems of Energy Spirituality, like Empath Empowerment®?
- Likewise the Social Sensitivity Skills I’ve developed to help Highly Sensitive Persons? All of them, cocreated with the Divine.
From my perspective, then, the current emphasis on suffering strikes me as just a bit weird. Specifically…
Why Are So Many HSP Helpers… Throwing Pity Parties?
No kidding! Just in case you didn’t read Part 1 of this series yet, here are some crazy-popular examples:
- Poor overstimulated HSPs. They often need special support from their loved ones.
- Tragedy-prone Highly Sensitive Persons? They need permission from others to get emotional and have a good cry.
- And just in case you were wondering, who are the biggest victims around? HSPs suffer more than people who are less sensitive.
Look, finding psychological problems is an occupational hazard for therapists. If YOU constantly were to speak the language of trauma and overwhelm, of course you’ll find plenty.
Half the population with serious mental illness? Heck, the link I just gave you with that estimate is probably one of the more cheerful ones.
Witness a psychologist, who told one of my clients: “I can walk down a crowded street and, just by looking at people, I can find psychological problems in every single one of them.”
As the saying goes, to a man with a hammer… everything is a nail.
No wonder there’s so much sob-worthy propaganda on the giving end. Setting a really tragic tone for today’s HSP marketplace. But how about the receiving end? Why all the widespread woe?
Quite possibly you’re laughing by now. Unless you’ve spent time traveling down this particular rabbit hole.
Otherwise, isn’t the answer obvious?
Wow, A Free Pass to Cushy Victimhood!
On the receiving end, why buy into the misery version of being a Highly Sensitive Person?
Because plenty of people today are suffering. And even if they weren’t, it’s pretty easy to persuade people that they’re suffering more than others.
Once that self-pity begins, what’s even more tempting?
Extra Wow, Supposedly The Big Diagnosis Explains Everything!
No need for guilt. Nor need for growth. Supposedly all that extraordinary suffering happens due to having a terrible weakness.
For example, try intoning these three words in a voice that drips with tragedy: Highly. Sensitive. Person.
Oooooooh!
Once the HSP listens to far, how easy it is to believe that they deserve special treatment.
Kind of like when you go to a store like COSTCO (pre- or post-pandemic), where you discover free samples. Many a time I’ve stuffed my face with the cookies or whatever, and why? Because it was FREE.
Self-pity samples can seem mighty tempting, too.
In Reality, What IS an HSP?
Here’s my perspective from using energetic literacy skills to learn about thousands of clients since encountering Elaine Aron’s first book.
Yes, HSPs are hardwired for life with a great deal of sensitivity.
Only, please, consider it a talent. Of course, every degree of sensitivity comes with distinctive talent. That said, what’s so great about HSP talent?
- Any creative activities you do…
- Or professional skills that you develop for helping others…
- And also, your appreciation for loved ones in your life…
Automatically, HSPs do all this with more insight and appreciation, compared to those with less sensitivity.
Hey, does that sound like a waking nightmare to you?
Therefore, What Really Helps HSPs?
Clarity-Seeking Reader, different HSPs have distinctively different problems. I sure wouldn’t say that my HSP clients suffer particularly from hurt feelings, unhappiness, or superior degrees of suffering.
However, many HSPs are so busy appreciating life deeply, guess what? Sometimes we forget to see what’s happening on the surface of life. Therefore, our social skills may be somewhat undeveloped.
Look, sometimes I’ll mentor HSPs on social skills they haven’t developed yet; I’ll do that along with facilitating removal of STUFF in auras, with Energy Spirituality™ skills that I use professionally: One personal session at a time.
What else can help HSPs? Maybe YOU!
How can you help the HSPs in your life? If they’re upset about a problem, ask them to tell you what has happened in objective reality. Who has said what or done what? Together you might be able to do some excellent problem-solving.
Alternatively, what if that HSPs:
- Plays the sensitivity card
- Or expects special treatment… groaning or moaning.
- Maybe accusing you of not being caring enough.
Don’t let yourself be guilted into believing that kind of hooey. Being a Highly Sensitive Person isn’t a disability but an opportunity.
In Conclusion
Thank you, Blog-Buddies, for reading this article all the way through. Especially impressive to me is your willingness to read something so counter-culture.
At least, counter-culture for now. :-)
Whether you agree with me or not, feel free to COMMENT below.
- If you’re an HSP or an empath, have you heard more than enough victim talk?
- Has Energy Spirituality ever helped you… and helped you to improve your quality of life.. without resorting to victim talk?
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“Being a Highly Sensitive Person isn’t a disability but an opportunity.”
These are words to live by. Thank you for this pair of articles, Rose.
You get it, KAYLA. Just because some teachers to Highly Sensitive Persons are appealing to the lowest common denominator — laziness and feeling frail or (even victimey) — there are alternatives.
One of them is this blog, and Energy Spirituality Social Sensitivity Skills. As well as personal sessions of Energy Spirituality ENERGY HEALING. Far too many HSPs are blaming their sensitivity for what?
While suffering from problems caused by STUFF in their auras, different kinds of energetic STUFF, too many HSPs are being taught to blame their very nature, being born as HSPs.
“STUFF” in all caps? That’s a term of art in Energy Spirituality. We have a saying, “STUFF can always, always, always be healed.”
However, that saying only applies when the expert being consulted:
* Has developed at least Stage 3 Energetic Literacy. (I stopped counting at Stage 21.)
* Isn’t mislabeling the HSP’s problems.
* And has learned effective skills for energy healing. (All Energy Healing is, decidedly, not the same.)
To be honest I don’t usually read posts like these at your blog. I’m into the aura reading and the energy healing. This article did catch my eye though.
Deep down I do think that being too sensitive is a weakness. In my heart of hearts I might even call it a kind of disability. Why are some people so fussy? I know they don’tmean it. I guess they can’t help it.
SALLY, thanks for your honesty here, and your point of view. Look, there’s no reason why you have to have much to do with HSPs. All of us have our likes and dislikes. Some are conscious while others are subconscious and more sneaky, like implicit bias.
On the other hand, let me throw some numbers at you. According to a considerable amount of research I’ve done, within Energy Spirituality sessions for clients…
* Yes, Elaine Aron, Ph.D. was correct: 1 in 5 people is a Highly Sensitive Person.
* In addition, all empaths are HSPs, in fact I like to call them “Highly-Highly Sensitive Persons.”
Then there’s my research on the Energy Spirituality Sensitivity Scale. You’ve got a score, everyone does.
If you like, you might consider one or more personal sessions to remove this kind of dislike. This could free you up in many relationships and also in many ways. Up to you, though.
For any of you Blog-Buddies who are curious about the power of a personal session of Energy Spirituality ENERGY HEALING, here’s some information. Beyond that, you can discover the results for yourself.
I’d be very happy to help you keep on growing, SALLY.
Rose I used to fall into that category of people who were experiencing life so deeply that I forgot to see what was happening on the surface of life.
So I was a late bloomer with social skills.
Thanks to sessions of Energy Spirituality I quickly learned not only how to feel comfortable with people in daily life, but also how to socialize without alcohol!
Very perceptive, OLIVIA SWAN. Hopeful, too.
I like this empowering approach.
I’ve been an Energy Spirituality student and client for a good while now, so not considering myself a victim in life has become second nature to me by now.
I can see how, instead of helping, adopting a “woe is me” outlook on one’s sensitivity could be quite harmful.
As an HSP and Empath, I hardly ever reflect on my high level of sensitivity, never using it as an excuse to underperform in life or explain away difficult situations.
In fact, I think if someone becomes a Skilled Empath, he or she definitely doesn’t seem like some vulnerable weakling to others, needing to be treated with kid gloves.
Certainly, highly insensitive people can be cruel or difficult to deal with, but so can sensitive people.
Embracing a victimological outlook is a terrible substitute for using one’s power and appropriate social skills:
STEVE, these truthful observations are music to my ears. I hope they help many readers here.
Thank you.
Sensitivity can be challenging as an empath and boundaries on multple levels can be key.
“I’m grateful to be sensitive; at times pain may run deep, yet the rapture’s of bliss are oh so sweet.”
Welcome, AINE BELTON. I can tell that you’re new to my blog because you expressed the (very popular) idea that “boundaries on multiple levels can be key.” Did you know that the system of Empath Empowerment® can make a huge different for quality of life?
And, I assure you, it involves no tiring, complicated work around “boundaries.”
Perhaps you might enjoy learning about an approach that’s clearly different from what you’ve been doing.
BTW, I click on your link and found your website. AINE, it’s nice to meet somebody else who writes poetry!
Hey Rose, thanks for sharing! I didn’t know about Empath Empowerment as yes, I’m new to your website. Lovely to connect! :)
Same here, AINE. :-)
Guilt is part of the problem, I agree. Plenty of people I know ask way too much of their friends, blaming good friends like me because we don’t bend over backwards for HSPs, because they’re so fragile.
Outrageous HSP expectations is an awful problem altogether, I think. If my experience is at all typical, this is a very widespread problem. Thanks for doing what you can in this article and the last one. I’m glad you’re trying to help make it stop.
DENISE, there’s a lot of hope for improvement. Communication over specific demands can help educate particular people in your personal life.
Don’t try educating pushy HSPs at work, though. Use business manners on them… and let karma take care of the rest.
Meanwhile, by speaking up when you can, with common sense and civility — you can help add more truth to what’s in Collective Consciousness concerning Highly Sensitive Persons.
Thank you for this article. Most of all, I like your ideas for things we can say and do to Highly Sensitive Persons who are also highly annoying.
I guess it wouldn’t be okay to add what I’d really like to tell some of the pushy HSPs in my life, which is, “Your sensitivity doesn’t make you superior. Would you please take a humility pill?”
Hahaha. Look, SHIRLEY, there are probably few fields in life today that have more unqualified “experts” than today’s services for HSPs and empaths. On a regular basis I learn about new confusions that people believe because they haven’t yet developed solid skills as consumers.
There’s help from this website, though. One kind of help is the free service where I’ll assess the “consciousness lifestyle” of somebody you’re thinking of studying with.” That’s our “Spiritual Enlightenment List.” Click on that link and you’ll learn about the details for receiving some info about public figures… including HSP teachers, empath teachers, spiritual teachers, etc.
A second resource pertains to empath “experts.” (Including the many who illegally use the name of my trademarked system, Empath Empowerment® — in itself quite a clue to smart consumers. Why trust an “expert” who disregards a well established trademark?)
Anyway, if you like discernment about what works and what doesn’t work, and why… Welcome to our Discernment Jamboree for Empaths. Loads of knowledge is yours for free, just in return for reading the comments.
Reading the main article you’ll quickly catch on to how this works, and how you can ask about teachings from any empath “expert” you like.
BTW what about experts who blithely lump together empaths and HSPs? Like so many of the writers at this big website? Erggggg.
Oh yes, you can ask about these “experts” at that Discernment Jamboree for Empaths. It’s really fascinating, at least for those who seek to understand what works, or doesn’t, and why.